How to Build a Container for Emotional Expression
These are clearly highly emotional times we’re living in. Just reading the headlines is enough to trigger a tsunami of rage, fears, frustrations, grief or despair. Not to mention the personal challenges so many of us are facing on a global scale. No one seems to be unscathed.
How do you handle it all?
Do you numb yourself, lash out or stuff it down?
Culture clearly demonstrates numbing our emotions when times get tough whether through alcohol, drugs or shopping. We’ve all had moments of letting our angers out unintentionally on our partner or kids, later to regret it. Life can feel so overwhelming in our busyness and exhaustion that it’s just easier to stuff it once again. Even some spiritual circles can send the message that it’s not “spiritual” to show anger.
Emotion means energy in motion. They’re meant to move through us and not get stuck within us. We’re meant to not only feel but to feel all 88 keys of our emotional range. To feel and express, both the dark and the light, is to be fully alive. Yet, most of us are walking around only expressing in the key of “C”. We’re barely hanging on.
When we shut ourselves off from our emotions, especially our dark ones, there are often painful consequences that affect our health, our relationships and our world. Eventually, it’s going to come out in unexpected, less than desirable ways. Moreover, every time we suppress an emotion, we’re abandoning ourselves. It’s like turning our backs on our dearest friend in her time of need.
What if instead, you could engage with your wide range of emotions, all 88 keys of them, embodying them until they become expressions of your divine nature and your most honorable teachers?
And I’m not just talking about the story of your emotion, but the feeling of them in your body. It’s one thing to talk about an emotion. It’s a whole other instrument to play when you embody them. For emotions begin in the body. Doesn’t it make sense then that the body is the portal for expressing them?
I know in the beginning a lot of resistance can arise out of fear that once you open that bottle of emotion, you won’t be able to stop or you’ll get so overwhelmed, they’ll swallow you up.
That is why this process of building a safe container is so important. I first learned this tool of embodying emotions with Mama Gena, owner of The School of Womanly Arts. She calls it “swamping.” Since, I have altered it slightly to make it fit me. Try this process for yourself and then make your own modifications.
As Mama Gena says, “Choosing to feel, instead of going numb, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. What we feel, we can heal. Feeling is a way of finding yourself, not losing yourself.”
I use the acronym HEALS, as in feeling heals, to provide the framework of what’s important to hold in the container of emotional embodiment expression. You can do this alone, but even better with friends or relatives. A dark space is ideal. Comfy, grungy clothes help. Only go as fast as the slowest part of you feels safe to go.
Feeling HEALS — The Container
H — HONOR each and every emotion, telling yourself, “I feel what I feel. I give myself the time and space to express my emotions. My emotions are sacred.”
E- EMBODY your emotions. The process includes music, naming your “swamps”, breath, movement and sound.
1. First, create a playlist that holds four types of vibe — rage/anger, grief/sadness, soothing heart, and sensual. See my example provided at the end of this article.
2. Now name what you’re feeling or swamping in writing or out loud. For example, “I swamp rage at the injustices inflicted upon others.” Put out as many as you want.
3. Take several deep breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling out the mouth, remembering to breathe deeply throughout. The breath keeps you out of your head and in your body.
4. Next, play your music which is also your timer and move your body while making any sounds that want to come out. Anything goes. Let your body move you. Allow the music to guide you. Throw punches, flail arms, kick legs, stomp feet, throw a temper tantrum like a toddler. Push against the wall or furniture. Crawl, roll, shake, bounce, sway, cradle yourself, slither, bear walk. I like to hit a foam bat against a cushion. A dishtowel works too.
5. Let sounds come from low in the belly or high in the throat. Explore all ranges. Scream, holler, roar, whine, moan, curse, chant, cry, wail.
Continue breathing, moving and sounding throughout.
A — ACCEPT all your emotions as real, valid and right. There are no wrong or bad emotions.
L — LEAN IN to your emotions with a sense of curiosity, welcoming anything that comes up, from numbness to primal rage. Allow and trust the process and your own body. Hold yourself with loving-kindness.
S — SENSE the aliveness of your body. You’re moving here to the sensual piece of music, the last on your playlist. This will ground you. Feel the delightful touch of your skin, the sway of your hips. This is the fuel for moving forward, for merging your humanity with your divinity. Celebrate beautiful YOU and your courage to feel!
Once your process is complete, take some time if you can to be with yourself. Perhaps journal, nap or enjoy a cup of tea. Return to this container as often you need, whether you feel charged or not.
Giving whole body expression to your emotions is sacred and necessary if our world is to return back to its balanced place in the Universe.
Let’s emote our way to a better world!
Want some personal guidance with your own emotional embodiment expression? Contact me at karen@karentasto.com
Your Emotional Embodiment Expression Playlist Sample:
Sensual/Feel Good
Karen has been holding sacred space for women to feel and express the truths of their bodies and hearts for over 15 years. As owner of Open Heart Healing, she’s been guiding women to stretch, grow and expand into the fullest expressions of themselves. She’s a certified life coach, women’s circle facilitator, Reiki master, and a JourneyDance teacher. Discover more about her at:
